the art of leading

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1. Never value your journey as a success.
People who consider the achievement of the ultimate goal as the only possible way to achieve success are perfect prospects to never be good leaders. It is a perfect way to fail as a leader. Leaders, naturally, are driven and desire to accomplish the realization of a vision. That is one of the things that characterize them. But they also are set apart because they see each step in the way to realization as a small success. If you never value your journey as a success, then you’ll end up being a very unhappy person, since you’ll have to wait a long time before you can know what ’success’ feels like.

2. Never delegate.
Successful leaders know how to delegate. So it follows that if you want to suck at leadership, you can’t delegate anything. If that’s what you want, just hoard every little detail inside your circle of responsiblity and forget about the big picture. If you try to do everything by yourself, you’ll end up with so much unimportant details that you won’t have any time or energy to dedicate to the really significant stuff such as…being a leader instead of a task administrator.

3. Never point out anything positive about the people who surround you.
This is the perfect way to sink into leadership hell. So if your goal is to be a bad leader, then you absolutely need to put this principle into play. In fact, a faster way to destroying relationships is to not only withhold compliments, but express negative comments about those who surround you. This will create resentment toward you, which means that they won’t want to follow you, or do anything that you want them to do.

4. Never consider leadership as a means.
Those who most frequently fail at the game of leadership are those who see it as a material object to be attained, instead of a means to attain something that is meaningful to society or a part of it. Successful leaders, on the other hand, get to practice leadership because they want to express themselves and their vision. They aren’t leaders just for the sake of being leaders.

5. Never think of leadership as a way to serve others.
This is a very important message to those who want to fail as leaders: just serve yourself. Become a leader out of mere self-interest and you’ll be well on your way to being a perfect failure as a leader. Great leaders have a purpose that is greater than themselves. Just do the opposite if you want to be their opposite.

6. Stump whoever is beneath you.
This is another great way to destroy your chances of failure. When you get to the “top”, just start taking those “beneath” you for granted. When you come crashing down in the future, nobody will be there to help you up, since you destroyed all those meaningful relationships with people who are now on “top” of you.

7. Never read, just watch reality shows over and over again.
Great leaders don’t stop learning. They read every type of book they can get their hands on, and take a critical point of view toward them, which will help them when analyzing real-world situations. They focus on books and even art and music that expand their critical and analytical capabilities. So, if you want to fail as a leader, it’s simple: watch every reality show out there. Those are perfect to kill your brain cells, since they not only don’t require you to think, but encourage you to be dumber. There is nothing better that you can do to decrease your critical and analytical abilities than listening to Paris Hilton or Britney Spears or some random dude talk about their dog’s nails.

8. Never mold your own environment.
If you want to do everything in your power to suck at leadership, let circumstances and your environment mold you . Truly successful leaders are those who see something they don’t like and strive to change it. They aren’t bogged down by petty day-to-day events. They go out and create their own set of favorable circumstances instead of letting the likes and wants of others destroy their visions.

9. Never fail.
This may be the most important principle to follow in your quest to leadership insignificance. True leaders come to see failures and mistakes as learning vehicles. In fact, they come to look forward to these situations, because they know that in every failure, they will find an equally significant or greater success. If you want to stay stuck at where you are right now, then don’t do anything differently. Don’t risk failing, since it will only bring you unlimited opportunities, and someone who would never want to be a leader would never want that.

Categories : Communication, Failure, General Leadership, Goals, Personal Development, Recognition, Relationships // 2 Comments »

Many people don’t want you to be successful. They cannot deal with the fact that someone other than themselves is the center of attention. Call it envy, jealousy, or whatever you want. Some people will just be unhappy when you develop as a leader.

You, as a leader, need to know how to deal with this type of situation. Don’t turn you back from it, because sooner or later these disgruntled people will be obstacles in your way to realize your vision. Here are some ways you can cope:

1. Approach - Sometimes personal insecurity stops people from recognizing the success of others. This may be solved by just approaching them and “talking things out”. Who knows? Maybe they’ll feel you’re a nice guy after all.

2. Listen - Envy and jealousy is usually accompanied by criticism. Maybe some of these criticisms are in fact based on sound reasoning. Listen to them and find out if they’re right, or if the criticism has no base. If they’re right, work toward improvement. Perhaps that won’t stop you from being the object of envy, but at least you’d be able to get something out of it. It the criticism is unfounded, skip to #5.

3. Clarify - Many people may feel threatened by your intentions. They may feel that you harbor secret plans to destroy their worlds. If they’re wrong, just go and establish your real intentions. Try to release the guard of these people and make them know that you’re being straightforward. If you do plan to change many things, you have to persuade them and make them feel like going “out of the box” is the best thing. After all, persuasion is what leadership is all about, isn’t it?

4. Involve - A lot of people who dedicate their lives to fretting about the success of others really just want a piece of the action. Make these people feel like they’re part of the reason why you’re mission is being carried out. In fact, actually make them a part. Their supposed “envy” may just be their way to say, “Hey, I feel excluded!” Remember many people are driven by recognition, and if you give it to them you may create a more productive, clutter-free environment.

5. Ignore - Let’s face it: Many people are just jealous of you, and nothing you do will change them. You may try, as well you should, but in the end real change is in the hands of the person who needs to change. Internal roadblocks may have to be eliminated so that their exterior reflections are eliminated also. If, after a risk-benefit analysis, you feel that trying to persuade someone isn’t worth it, then don’t. Just ignore, and focus on the important stuff.

Categories : Communication, Envy, General Leadership, Goals, Recognition, Relationships // 1 Comment »

The same thing told in different ways will be heard differently and have different effects. In a recent post (Who Needs Charisma?), I mentioned an article in the August/September 2007 issue of Scientific American MIND magazine (The New Psychology of Leadership). In that same issue, there is another extraordinary article which I want to refer to, since it has so much to do with persuasion. In When Words Decide, author Barry Schwartz describes how the wording of questions or choices have a shockingly deep effect on the final decisions of people. Some of what Schwartz says is pretty obvious information. But the article does provide some detailed tidbits that any leader should apply when trying to get his or her way. Here they are presented, along with suggestions on how to use them as a leader who wants to persuade

1. People normally choose the default option. It’s easier and they assume it’s best for them.
Tip: Use your preferred option as the default. It’s simpler and easier for people to do nothing. Provide an opt-out option instead of an opt-in option. For example, if you prefer that your employees have a 401-K plan, make it the default option, leaving the employees with the power of declining to have one by opting out.

2. People are more motivated to not lose something than to gain something. For some reason, the fear of negative things is more impacting to people than the possibility of gaining something.
Tip: Emphasize to people the negative characteristics of an option you are against (obviously) but do so in a way that motivates them to prevent loss. For example, if you are running a campaign to get people tested for HIV, tell them what will happen in the case of late detection (lose your life) instead of what they could gain in case of early detection (more effective treatment).

3. People pick the most favorable of two options, but if given only one option they don’t have anything to compare to. If you ask people if $100 is a fair price for a microwave, their answers will be inconsistent. If on the other hand, you present people with that same microwave and ask them if the new $500 “Premium” microwave is a better offer, most would see the first one as the best choice.
Tip: Give people a specific context to work with. Make your preferred option the most favorable of two options, even if it’s less favorable than a third unnamed option. In other words, provide a field of comparison when trying to persuade.

For clarification and further helpful examples, go to the complete article:

Scientific American Mind: When Words Decide
Researchers are discovering the myriad ways in which
language can have a profound effect on the choices we make–from the foods we eat to the laws we support

Categories : Failure, Mentorship, Recognition, Uncategorized // Add Comment »

We all know them. They’re the ones that make themselves be heard by the volume of their voice or by the sheer amount of talking they do. A true leader knows how to get into their brains and influence them by playing to the following characteristics and habits that are typical of Expressive people:

1. They talk a lot - The actual word “expressive” gives you an idea of what they are like. They like to talk. Sometimes, in fact, they don’t know about the appropriateness of what they’re expressing, so they talk some more. As a leader you need to make people comfortable, so let these people talk. They’ll trust you more because of it.

2. They focus on emotions - I don’t know why this is true. All I know is that you can’t count on presenting too much facts to them when trying to influence them. Appeal to emotions. Expressives will register them much better than details, and if you make them like what they feel (emotions, of course), you’ll be a better leader to them.

3. They focus on images - This is sort of an extension of #3,but now I’m talking about method. One of the most effective, and practical, ways of creating emotions is through storytelling. Stories are, if well told, full of crisp and rich images that can be played in the minds of an expressive people. Take advantage of that and become an avid storyteller when trying to influence them.

4. They look for popularity and recognition - Frequently, perhaps subconsciously, they actively seek popularity. So, if you’re results-oriented and care more about seeing your vision as a leader fulfilled than getting recognized in the short term, then grant it to them. Make that person feel like the answer came out of them, so they can rejoice in their newly increased popularity.

Categories : Communication, Goals, Negotiation, Recognition, Relationships // 1 Comment »

Leadership doesn’t have a nice little set of rules. Everything that is promoted as a “rule” that has to be followed to become a leader can have many interpretations. In fact, the complete opposite of what the rules say can be as useful as what the original says. That is what this article is about: Contradictions that appear to be mutually exclusive, but really aren’t. These contradictions will make a better leader of you if you put them in practice:

Contradiction #1

Think about your legacy
What do you you want people to think about your leadership 10, 20, 30, or 100 years from now? Do you even want to be remembered? Or are you content with just contributing your grain of salt? Answers to these questions might help you in clarifying the principles you want to lead by. It isn’t the same being remembered for your cunning than being remembered for your sense of humor. Think about it, and make sure everything you do now, adds to that legacy you have envisioned.

Don’t think about your legacy
If you focus too much on what others will think about you in the future in some other place, then you won’t be able to focus on being here now. Thinking about your legacy for too long can distract you from what needs to be done to get there. Contemplate this projection for just long enough to capture the essence, and then immediately start working on getting there. Also, don’t get caught in the trap of concentrating in just your legacy, when you primarily need to be concentrating in how that legacy impacts your followers, your organization, or society in general.

Contradiction #2

Be a mentor
This “legacy” refers to a set of principles as much as it does to personal success. And there is no better way to perpetuate this set of principles than by promoting them. The way to do this is to become a mentor to others, and developing their talents. These pupils, if taught well, will be evangelists of your school of thought, leadership style, and ideas. If they differ from you, then you have indirectly contributed to creating other perspectives which might benefit everyone. For that reason, you need not be afraid of having your pupils pass you by in terms of position or expertise, since that would be a sign of your own prowess.

Don’t be a mentor
When most people hear the word “mentor”, they might think of a classic teacher-student dynamic where the teacher talks and the student takes notes. If that is what a mentor is, then I don’t want you to be one. The best way to lead is by example. Become what you want your pupils to become. Remember: Actions are easier to remember than words. And they’re easier to imitate too. Instead of telling what to do, show how to do it. Instead of mentoring, demonstrate.

Contradiction #3

Go with the flow
Many leaders or would-be leaders find it tempting to be a contrarian just for the sake of it. Don’t be one of them! There’s no problem with doing what others are doing if it will help. Having this ‘go with the flow’ attitude will also permit you to be more willing and able to change with the times, and adapt more easily to those changes. Taking advantage of those tides can be very beneficial to your organization or mission.

Don’t go with the flow
True leadership is based on a set of principles that guides your organization, be it a school, a church, a corporation, or your own family. This is what Stephen Covey refers to when talking about Principle-Centered Leadership. If these principles are solid and worthwile, then they will not change in the midst of different fashions. They will remain in place throughout every decision you will make. Consequently, this will mean that you won’t just “go with the flow” whenever the “flow” goes in another direction. Apart from the all-important principles, you also need to find something that characterizes you. People need to be able to differentiate you from everyone else in your field. Followers will remember leaders who are ahead of the pack. In fact, leaders are leaders precisely because they are different from the also-rans. Be unique in some way.

Contradiction #4

Make it BIG
Big things are easier to remember than small things. Actions that make a big splash in your organization and drive a point home will make a big impact. Of course, you want it to be a big positive splash, but big nonetheless. Big sometimes means bold. Perhaps you have to speak out against an injustice that nobody dared to speak out against. Or maybe you could fly an airplane carrying a message behind it. If a message is worth communicating, then do what needs to be done to communicate it. Everyone remembers big.

Make it small
Small details are very valuable for many people. Maybe you think that smiling to your janitor didn’t have any important effect on him or her. But those supposedly insignificant events are many times the most significant. One of the best ways to influence the lives of followers or peers is to create joy in their lives. That seemingly irrelevant smile might be the high point of the janitor’s day or even week. It doesn’t take too much effort to simply listen, respect, and encourage. Everyone remembers small.

Contradiction #5

Think long-term
Every leader needs a long-term vision. In fact, if you don’t have it, then most probably aren’t even a leader. It is the central purpose of leadership to provide a big-picture perspective for whatever or whoever is being led. Administering the more technical and immediate day-to-day tasks should belong to the realm of the administrator, who is not necessarily a leader. A true leader has the capacity to serve as the compass of the following.

Think short-term
Every leader needs short-term vision. In order to reach a long-term goal, you need to put into place a set of more immediate steps. These steps have to be taken now so that a goal becomes a reality. Some events need to happen before. In fact, the mark of a true leader is his or her ability to coordinate events in the future with events in the present. Those events need to be made compatible.

Categories : Communication, General Leadership, Goals, Mentorship, Recognition, Relationships // 6 Comments »

Be confident, not arrogant

Self-confidence is an important part of being a leader. It enables you to act with security and convey authority. It also comes in handy when making tough decisions, since having confidence in your skills and abilities will reassure you about what you are undergoing. Nevertheless, there’s a fine line between self-confidence and outright arrogance. Self-confidence: good. Arrogance: bad. John Gotti learned that lesson the hard way.

After rising to the top of the Gambino Family, he amassed considerable power in the underworld. For a while, Family members liked the fact that the boss exuded an air of “movie-star” quality. He was ‘cool’ and confident. But the ‘coolness’ and confidence went over the fine line. With TV news cameras in front of him day and night because of the different high-profile cases against him, Gotti paraded his handmade suits and always attempted to be the center of attention. The increased publicity, by many accounts, made him a bigger target, subsequently bringing him and the Gambino Family down. Even his own underboss, Sammy Gravano, and many of his capos, later expressed that the correct strategy was to maintain a low profile and not bring too much attention. Gotti didn’t agree, and he payed the price.

Maybe in the personal and corporate worlds arrogance won’t bring you as much visible trouble as the Gambino Family had. But crossing the line over from self-confidence to arrogance and cockiness may no doubt bring harmful consequences. For one, most people don’t enjoy being around someone whose main objective is to exalt him or herself. Relationships suffer as a result of those kinds of attitudes, and therefore leadership suffers, since it is based in many ways on quality relationships. In fact, the person who ratted on Gotti, leading him to a life sentence, was his best buddy and underboss Sammy Gravano. So there’s no need to exagerate your ‘confidence’. Just be reasonably sure of yourself and trust in your capacity. But there’s no need to be arrogant. It could lead you into trouble.

Categories : Communication, Confidence, General Leadership, Mafia, Recognition // Add Comment »

People like money, but they also like recognition

I won’t try to kid anyone here: of course mafiosi want money. In fact, the central purpose of the Mafia is to move and produce money. Families exist to create multi-million dollar fortunes. Really successful Mafia leaders become filthy rich, and they do whatever they think will work. Anything goes, from drug dealing to illegal gambling to other illegal schemes. In fact, some dons have been known to be extremely good businessmen in totally legitimate ventures.

While all that is true, it is also true that they also work for the cachet of being called ‘capo’ instead of being just a gopher, or don instead of capo. Not only will this bring them more money, but also a better reputation and standing. Those kinds of promotions do a lot for the egos of many people. Just being referred to with a different title, or being recognized in front of a group, does wonders for their self-esteems.

In the same way, leaders in other areas of life can apply this lesson. In fact, many of today’s most successful businesses have applied it and have seen its fruits. Money-based bonuses and awards have been shown to be ineffective in terms of self-realization. The productivity of employees who are recognized in other ways, on the other hand, has increased dramatically. Sometimes all that is necessary to spice up your leadership is to call someone ‘don’ instead of ‘wise guy’. It can do wonders.

Categories : General Leadership, Mafia, Recognition // 2 Comments »