5 Things You Can Do To Be A Better Arguer

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Your ideas will face opposition in any field of life. Do you want to prove to your boss why you deserve that raise? Do you want to convince that friend of yours to lend you the money you need to start your dream business? Then you need to get those ideas heard and supported. How do you do that? By knowing how to argue. Here are some tips on how to argue.

  1. State your objective. Some arguments start out of nothing, and have no purpose other than just ‘winning’. When you state your objective for arguing, you make it clear for yourself and the other party what the discussion is about. If you are honest in doing this, it also shows genuinity
  2. Be concise. Most people don’t appreciate others going on about irrelevant details.
  3. Be nice. I don’t mean “smile at all moments” type of nice, but at least don’t make others hate you. Don’t try to force the other party to like you, but don’t make it hard for them either.
  4. Exude confidence. It’s much easier for people to listen to others who are sure of themselves and who believe in their positions. This also transmits credibility, and being perceived as honest is essential to prevail in an argument.
  5. Know when to stop arguing. Don’t ramble about unnecessary or irrelevant details. State your case, and close. Going on after you’ve made your point could just make you unlikeable.

Communicate your vision

Wanting to be a leader is a very significant step in your personal development. But if wanting is all that you do, then you’ll stay there and there will be no actual leadership to talk about. You may have a grand life-altering vision of the future, but if others don’t see it too, then that vision will never come true. So the logical action step to take after having formulated that goal would be to COMMUNICATE YOUR VISION. Only then will you be able to start shaping it into reality. Arnold Shwarzenneger, in his book The Education of a Bodybuilder, told the story of how, as a teenager, he visualized himself in front of a great audience after winning the Mr. Universe bodybuilding competition. He imagined himself as a movie star. Now, you may not agree with his politics, or you may not like his movies, but he took action. He won the Mr. Universe, he won the Mr. Olympia, he became a movie star, and he became Governor of California. How did he do this? Well, he definitely hit the gym religiously and took steps to meet people in Hollywood. But he is also known as a great communicator. He took care of expressing his goals and of making the world know what he was up to. Arnold built a true cult-like following, especially in the bodybuilding arena, that helped him to make his vision a reality. How can you duplicate those results in your own scope of influence will be the topic of the remainder of this article.

Communicate through listening

The most overlooked, but perhaps the most important, method of communication is listening. The other three are reading, writing, and talking. But those three are more than polished throughout life. That is precisely why listening skills are so important. By being a good listener you’ll be able to find many ideas to implement your action plan, that you wouldn’t have thought of yourself. You’ll be ahead of your ‘competition’, since most people don’t listen. That’s the purpose of team-building, though that would take a whole other article to expand upon. Listening is also a central part of gaining followers. Everyone likes being listened to. When you show interest in what the other person expresses, that person will be much more open to the idea of listening in turn to what you have to say. That skill sets you apart from most other people whom are simply cut off simply because they talk too much and don’t listen.

Communicate through your own actions

You can talk all you want and try to communicate solely through that method. In fact, appropriate speaking skills are very helpful to leaders who desire to communicate their visions. But if you turn around and do the opposite of what you preach, your message will be lost. “Do as I say not as I do” will not work. It’s easier for people to imitate physical actions than it is for people to go through a thought process in order to determine the ‘correctness’ of what they hear. It follows one of the most essential theories in nature: “the path of least resistance”. Don’t get me wrong, that thought process is essential in order to become a discerning human being. But it’s tough! For that reason, the most efficient way to communicate your vision is through your own actions. Become an embodiment of that vision, and soon others will copy that behavior. Don’t get too caught up in trying to be the most eloquent speaker in the world, although that certainly would be nice. When speaking, try to stir people into action, and show people how it is done instead of merely telling them.

Communicate through your own attitudes

This element of communication is somewhat tied to the previous one. Nevertheless, it is of supreme importance that you always carry a positive attitude. Again, attitudes are contagious. Haven’t you ever been very happy only to encounter a negative person and have that person ruin your day? You should develop the ability to avoid that, but it’s not easy. In the other hand, if you always carry yourself in a positive light, people are more open to imitating your actions. When they see you are convinced that your vision is worth striving for, they’ll start believing in it too, or at least be more susceptible.

Let others reach their own conclusions

Proper communication will lead people to reach conclusions. Your role as a leader is to provide all the resources that are necessary for others to make a decision for themselves. You can’t force anyone to accept your message. You may be able to make someone do something for you if you use threats, but that will only be temporary. As Dale Carnegie stated in his classic book How to Win Friends and Influence People if your communication strategy is appropriate, people will want to follow you. That is what is known as persuasion and it’s what leadership is all about. By persuading, you influence. And that is every leader’s objective.

9 Things To Do In The First 100 Days

Last week , in Why the First 100 Days Could Make or Break Leaders, I mentioned the importance of “the First 100 Days” of a leader in a new position. In today’s post I’ll map out one possible course of action that someone might take in those first 100 days, to make the most out of them. The list was thought of in a step-by-step approach, but each item can be seen as a separate idea.

  1. Ask for suggestions from present employees on what are the things that must be done. This doesn’t mean you’re going to do whatever they tell you, but it will be useful information to know what are the perceived top priorities.
  2. Meet with your executives, 1 or 2 per day depending on the size of your organization. Get to know who you’ll be working with.
  3. Prepare a report where you gather and analyze the information that has been gathered.
  4. Take your people on a get-away to collaborate on the design of a new strategy, based on the information that has been gathered. Come away with new goals and a new strategy to achieve them.
  5. Focus on communicating the new strategy to your organization.
  6. Ask employees if they’re willing to work and collaborate with you in reaching new goals and following a new strategy. You need only the most willing people.
  7. Re-assign or fire those who aren’t compatible with your vision.
  8. Hire those who need to be hired. Use this opportunity, if given, to fill in the gaps. Do you lack sales and marketing skills? Then hire people who excel at sales and marketing.
  9. Take the first step in your new strategy. You were brought here for a reason, so get to work on what you have achieved in these 100 days. You have just begun.

Whatever you do in your first 100 days, my suggestion to you is to focus on gathering information and developing a plan to synthesize and utilize that information. Whichever method you choose, that should be the most important goal.

9 Surefire Ways to Be a Bad Leader

1. Never value your journey as a success.
People who consider the achievement of the ultimate goal as the only possible way to achieve success are perfect prospects to never be good leaders. It is a perfect way to fail as a leader. Leaders, naturally, are driven and desire to accomplish the realization of a vision. That is one of the things that characterize them. But they also are set apart because they see each step in the way to realization as a small success. If you never value your journey as a success, then you’ll end up being a very unhappy person, since you’ll have to wait a long time before you can know what ’success’ feels like.

2. Never delegate.
Successful leaders know how to delegate. So it follows that if you want to suck at leadership, you can’t delegate anything. If that’s what you want, just hoard every little detail inside your circle of responsiblity and forget about the big picture. If you try to do everything by yourself, you’ll end up with so much unimportant details that you won’t have any time or energy to dedicate to the really significant stuff such as…being a leader instead of a task administrator.

3. Never point out anything positive about the people who surround you.
This is the perfect way to sink into leadership hell. So if your goal is to be a bad leader, then you absolutely need to put this principle into play. In fact, a faster way to destroying relationships is to not only withhold compliments, but express negative comments about those who surround you. This will create resentment toward you, which means that they won’t want to follow you, or do anything that you want them to do.

4. Never consider leadership as a means.
Those who most frequently fail at the game of leadership are those who see it as a material object to be attained, instead of a means to attain something that is meaningful to society or a part of it. Successful leaders, on the other hand, get to practice leadership because they want to express themselves and their vision. They aren’t leaders just for the sake of being leaders.

5. Never think of leadership as a way to serve others.
This is a very important message to those who want to fail as leaders: just serve yourself. Become a leader out of mere self-interest and you’ll be well on your way to being a perfect failure as a leader. Great leaders have a purpose that is greater than themselves. Just do the opposite if you want to be their opposite.

6. Stump whoever is beneath you.
This is another great way to destroy your chances of failure. When you get to the “top”, just start taking those “beneath” you for granted. When you come crashing down in the future, nobody will be there to help you up, since you destroyed all those meaningful relationships with people who are now on “top” of you.

7. Never read, just watch reality shows over and over again.
Great leaders don’t stop learning. They read every type of book they can get their hands on, and take a critical point of view toward them, which will help them when analyzing real-world situations. They focus on books and even art and music that expand their critical and analytical capabilities. So, if you want to fail as a leader, it’s simple: watch every reality show out there. Those are perfect to kill your brain cells, since they not only don’t require you to think, but encourage you to be dumber. There is nothing better that you can do to decrease your critical and analytical abilities than listening to Paris Hilton or Britney Spears or some random dude talk about their dog’s nails.

8. Never mold your own environment.
If you want to do everything in your power to suck at leadership, let circumstances and your environment mold you . Truly successful leaders are those who see something they don’t like and strive to change it. They aren’t bogged down by petty day-to-day events. They go out and create their own set of favorable circumstances instead of letting the likes and wants of others destroy their visions.

9. Never fail.
This may be the most important principle to follow in your quest to leadership insignificance. True leaders come to see failures and mistakes as learning vehicles. In fact, they come to look forward to these situations, because they know that in every failure, they will find an equally significant or greater success. If you want to stay stuck at where you are right now, then don’t do anything differently. Don’t risk failing, since it will only bring you unlimited opportunities, and someone who would never want to be a leader would never want that.

Why Was Marcel Marceau a Leader?

Marcel Marceau

 

Marcel Marceau died on Saturday. He inspired awe and admiration in millions as a mime artist. Artistic savants as well as ordinary people followed him.

Why did a mime artist achieve such leadership status?

Because Marceau captured the essence of the human condition. He used only physical gestures to communicate feelings and entire dialogues. He made what he said simple to decode. In his performances he talked very clearly, without ever having to talk. He inspired millions to join his crusade.

Isn’t that what true leaders are supposed to do anyway?

Leaders don’t need positions of power. They don’t need to be elected by the people. They don’t need to be called CEO or President or Chairman or Prime Minister. They just are. Great leaders normally don’t set out to be leaders per se. They set out to achieve a mission. In Marceau’s case, he set out to bring an art form to life. It turns out that to do so, he had to become a leader along the way.

So what can you learn from Marceau? Well, I’m sure there are plenty of lessons to learn from such a man. But chew on these two for the time being:

  1. Find and use the communication method that you’re most good at. It doesn’t have to be the spoken word, as you can see. But whatever method you choose, you must talk clearly.
  2. You don’t need a special title to achieve leadership status.Look at Marcel Marceau.

 

P.S. Seth Godin wrote a post called Marcel Marceau died. It talks about another of his traits that might be very useful for leaders.

How To Make Your Team Happy

Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone in the team you lead was happy to complete their tasks instead of doing them grudgingly? Well, I think that might be possible. Remember, a true leader finds the way to keep people excited about what they do. So how do you do that? Here are some ideas:

  1. Tell them the result you want, and let them come up with the process to get there.
  2. Offer resources, then get out of the way.
  3. Contribute to the project in some way, at the same level than the rest of the team.
  4. Do NOT dictate pre-assigned tasks.
  5. Talk about every task that needs to be completed first, before assigning.
  6. Ask who is interested in doing what.
  7. If more than one person is interested in doing the same task, let them collaborate.

No checklist will ever assure you perfect team synergy. But if you do at least one of these things, you’ll probably improve the chances of it happening.

How to Deal With Envy

Many people don’t want you to be successful. They cannot deal with the fact that someone other than themselves is the center of attention. Call it envy, jealousy, or whatever you want. Some people will just be unhappy when you develop as a leader.

You, as a leader, need to know how to deal with this type of situation. Don’t turn you back from it, because sooner or later these disgruntled people will be obstacles in your way to realize your vision. Here are some ways you can cope:

1. Approach - Sometimes personal insecurity stops people from recognizing the success of others. This may be solved by just approaching them and “talking things out”. Who knows? Maybe they’ll feel you’re a nice guy after all.

2. Listen - Envy and jealousy is usually accompanied by criticism. Maybe some of these criticisms are in fact based on sound reasoning. Listen to them and find out if they’re right, or if the criticism has no base. If they’re right, work toward improvement. Perhaps that won’t stop you from being the object of envy, but at least you’d be able to get something out of it. It the criticism is unfounded, skip to #5.

3. Clarify - Many people may feel threatened by your intentions. They may feel that you harbor secret plans to destroy their worlds. If they’re wrong, just go and establish your real intentions. Try to release the guard of these people and make them know that you’re being straightforward. If you do plan to change many things, you have to persuade them and make them feel like going “out of the box” is the best thing. After all, persuasion is what leadership is all about, isn’t it?

4. Involve - A lot of people who dedicate their lives to fretting about the success of others really just want a piece of the action. Make these people feel like they’re part of the reason why you’re mission is being carried out. In fact, actually make them a part. Their supposed “envy” may just be their way to say, “Hey, I feel excluded!” Remember many people are driven by recognition, and if you give it to them you may create a more productive, clutter-free environment.

5. Ignore - Let’s face it: Many people are just jealous of you, and nothing you do will change them. You may try, as well you should, but in the end real change is in the hands of the person who needs to change. Internal roadblocks may have to be eliminated so that their exterior reflections are eliminated also. If, after a risk-benefit analysis, you feel that trying to persuade someone isn’t worth it, then don’t. Just ignore, and focus on the important stuff.

10 Metaphors That Changed The World

The language of metaphors is the language of leaders. Throughout history the greatest leaders have set themselves apart not only by dreaming a grand dream, but also by communicating it and moving people toward its realization.

To do this, metaphors are the vehicle that most of them have used to achieve that. Here are 10 of the metaphors (in no particular order) that helped to changed our world, or at the very least, comprehend it:

1. “Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.”
Jesus of Nazareth

2. “I am here as a soldier who has temporarily left the field of battle.”
Emmeline Pankhurst

3. “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
Franklin Delano Roosevelt

4. “The flame of French resistance must not and shall not die.”
Charles de Gaulle:

5. “At the stroke of the midnight hour, when the world sleeps, India will awake to life and freedom.”
Jawaharlal Nehru:

6. “Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.”
John F. Kennedy

7. “I’ve been to the mountaintop. …And I’ve seen the promised land.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.

8. “You can’t hate the roots of tree, and not hate the tree.”
Malcolm X

9. “The wall cannot withstand freedom.”
Ronald Reagan

10. “Indifference is always the friend of the enemy.”
Elie Wiesel

Brains, Guts, and the Capacity to Act

Brains, Guts, and the Capacity to Act

By Stephen H. Baum

author of What Made jack welch Jack Welch

What allows a leader to take the steps needed to solve a problem or master a
difficult situation? What keeps the desire to act from being impetuous and
uninformed, as in “ready, fire, aim” behavior? The answer is that the
capacity to act effectively and decisively is a complex mixture of brain and
gut, a combination I call threads in thinking. It includes these qualities:

* An ability to distill a situation to its simplest dynamics; to
understand the issues and the consequences of doing nothing; and to
formulate a specific plan.

* Being extro-spective: seeing the business in the larger context of
the industry and in the marketplace; seeing a situation from a high-altitude
view and making sense of it on the ground.

* For opportunities, an ability to see the true benefits and risks,
which are not always obvious.

* Possession of a mental library of truly relevant analogies and other
mental models that can be applied to characterize the situation in a way
helpful for making a choice.

* An ability to identify valuable sources of advice, experience, and
wisdom (inside the company and out); to elicit information and know when to
do so.

* An instinct for calibrating the value of and motive for facts and
information people are giving you, the subtext of real agendas.

* An ability to discern both financial and nonfinancial impacts and
include them in the calculus (company reputation, morale, future business
options), then weigh the risks.

* An ability to anticipate issues and define a point of view so you
don’t have to do it for the first time under crisis.

* Being able to think a couple of moves ahead, as in chess, or as
Steve Kaufman put it: “the ability to look around the corner and see what’s
coming.” This ability and most of the others can be tested and developed.

It’s a tall order, but remember that no one starts out with all of these
abilities. You develop these threads and judgment only with experience. This
is done mainly through on-the-job training. Just remember how many of the
leaders we’ve been discussing failed in school, how many were far from the
top of their class, how none were rocket scientists. Only by working through
major challenges in the first place do you develop and nurture these
abilities until they become part of you and part of your instinct.

In the Eye of the Storm

Deciding that you must act, and then acting, is not as straightforward as it
seems. Circumstances will often make your decision to take action in the
first place very challenging. Remember [Read more →]

Therapeutic Leadership

Treatment that produces an emotional and psychological impact is said to have therapeutic effects. Therapists dedicate themselves to help patients reach states of positive emotions and psychological well-being. Leaders can exert those therapeutic effects through their leadership methods. I would call that therapeutic leadership.

Leadership is a social force with concrete consequences. When the level of influence of one person reaches respectable heights, whatever that person does may determine the feelings of an anonymous follower.

Leaders have the capacity to impact people in an emotional and psychological way. I don’t know if this has any scientific value, since I’m neither a psychologist nor a psychiatrist. But it seems to me that leaders may be able to exert a very specific emotional or mental impact on any one individual who happens to listen or follow them.

What’s the point, you ask? Well, I’d like for you as a leader to be accountable for what you say and do. You should be aware of the impact that you may have on your followers. I’m not implying that you should be paternalistic and that you should be everyone’s therapist.

At least be conscious of your actions. The shadow that those actions throw over your followers may be bigger than you thought. The first step toward practicing therapeutic leadership, then, is to simply be aware.