the art of leading

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Sometimes we feel like the only way to make something work is to do it ourselves. This is especially true when we’re talking about our “baby”. We all know what that is. It’s that special project that is born out of our own creative spaces. We want to control every last detail of that creature because if anyone else goes near it, it’ll be destroyed. We believe that any input from anyone but ourselves will be, at best, uninformed due to ignorance.

I propose to you to let go of those fears. Input from other people can be very valuable in the development and growth of your projects. In fact, you shouldn’t limit yourself by only asking the opinions of a small group of informed people. Some of the most insightful observations come from total strangers to your “baby”. These are the most unattached critics who are in the best position to critique your project from a distance. They might be able to point out flaws that those who are most involved can’t.

It’s only natural to feel such an attachment to your special projects. But you should treat these “babies” as your own children:

1. Give birth - This is the “idea” stage of your project.

2. Protect - At first, your idea may need some protection, as children do when they still aren’t able to fend for themselves. This may involve defending against skeptics.

3. Nurture and raise - The only way that your baby will grow is by feeding it many possible options. People form many of their characteristics around their environment, pressures, and influences. Outside input is also necessary for the formation of your project.

4. Let go - There is a point in the life of every person in which he or she is left to fend for him- or herself. All the protection, nurturing, and input that has formed the person has the purpose of preparing that person for independence. You should view your project in the same way. Your baby, if raised well, will be ready to live its own life.

The “nurture and raise” and “let go” phases are intertwined. To nurture and raise, you need to let go in a way. You have to open your ideas to the input of intelligent people who may provide important suggestions. You may be made aware of big flaws in your creative process or reasoning.

I believe that the silliest fear when trying to do this is that of exposing your idea to the possibility of being imitated or stolen. Believe me, it is very unlikely that you are the only person to think about it. I don’t say this to discourage you, since you’ll most likely put a distinctive imprint on your idea. But just don’t limit your possible success to silly fears. Open up to criticism.

Categories : Communication, Failure, General Leadership, Relationships // 1 Comment »

Contradiction #6

Have a general vision
All leaders have a vision which they want to communicate, so that others will also share that vision. In fact, having a vision and the capacity to transmit it can be considered the defining element of what true leadership is. With that said, part of its effective transmission is the potential of resonating in a wide array of circumstances, time periods, and places. The Constitution of the United States is a great example of a timeless vision statement. Its content is true for practically most of humanity, since it covers basic human needs and rights. It is also written in a way which makes it nimble and able to withstand countless shifts of circumstances. It might be interpreted differently in different moments, but the content that is being interpreted remains the same. All that changes is the context.

Have a specific vision
When you have and communicate a short and straight-to-the-point vision, prospective followers will remember it more easily. It also doesn’t confuse them. Think about it: do you remember 27 phone numbers more easily than 2 phone numbers? Also, a specific vision will allow you to gather a group of loyal followers. Face it: not everyone will be interested in joining your cause. But your vision, if specific enough, will attract a group of people who also believe in what you believe. That will not happen if you try to appeal to all of humanity. For example, as the manager of a manufacturing division in your company, your vision needs to be specific enough that the manufacturing people will feel identified with it.

Contradiction #7

Try to become a leader
This one is similar in some respect to Contradiction #1, from the first installment of this topic. If you are eager to communicate a vision and purpose to everyone out there that might be interested to listen to you, then that involves developing leadership skills. You will want to influence others so that they will share your goals and work toward them. For that reason, becoming a leader will be of the utmost priority. It will be the only reason to achieve it. Work on skills that will enable you to showcase whatever you’re trying to get across. Improve your relationship skills. Practice your motivation techniques. You will need that and more. Be mindful of the influence you might have on others, and try to improve the effectiveness of it.

Don’t try to become a leader
Many times, leaders become leaders as a side-effect of their eagerness to go out and turn something into reality. They aren’t consciously thinking about themselves as leaders, but just as messengers that want to get a message across. As a result, that energy and excitement boils over and infects other people, who are then willing to work toward the same goal. For this “messengers”, leadership just happens. People just automatically gravitate toward them as a byproduct of enthusiasm.

Contradiction #8

Go with your instinct
Your gut is very intelligent. Don’t you remember when you were in school (or perhaps you still are), and changed the answer to a question just to find out later that the original one was correct? That proves that many times your initial instinct is smarter than your logical reasoning. You have to admit: there are many things in life which we cannot explain logically, but just trust in its truth. Leadership is no different, particularly when making tough decisions, which is basically always. Learning to trust this gut instinct is part of learning to trust yourself. Learning to trust yourself is part of building self-confidence. Building self-confidence will make you a better leader.

Don’t go with your instinct
Your gut doesn’t always have all the information necessary to make a good decision about something. Therefore, your “logical reasoning” side has to gather that information, process it, and use it to arrive at an appropriate outcome. Instinct, if deprived of this information will not be trustworthy. A better way to go about it would be for you to at least plan a little bit. Leave as little as possible to uninformed decision-making.

Contradiction #9

Encourage agreement
A big part of leadership is the process of creating consensus among followers. In this particular time period, due to many advances in technology and science, effective collaboration is central to a leader’s job. Finding points of agreement fosters an environment of common aspiration. It contributes to the creation of a smooth ride toward the collective vision, instead of everyone rowing in their own directions, neutralizing the efforts of everyone else.

Encourage disagreement
Dissent is the only thing that will point towards areas of improvement. Having an organization exclusively full of “yes” people, who are merely trying to please you as a leader, will trump progress. Let’s be realistic: your organization has flaws. If nobody points them out, you won’t notice them, and therefore you won’t fix them. While many corporate meetings take place just to talk about how wonderful things are going, Bill Gates, one of the richest men in the world and leader of one of the most powerful and most effective organizations, is known to ask outright for dissenting opinions. This generates an environment of continuous improvement, where every stone is turned. You can start by not punishing people who point problems out. In fact, it might be a good idea to provide incentives for finding solutions to the problems they point out. Develop an attitude of constructive criticism and promote the creation of multiple points of views.

Contradiction #10

Try to be flawless
In a competitive environment, which most areas have, the person or organization who has the fewest flaws and commits the fewest errors will win. The athletic world is a great example of this. The difference between 1st and 2nd in a 100-meter race might be fractions of one second. That means that at some point in the previous 10 seconds, one of them saved that tiny fraction by being more efficient in performing a specific action. That action might have been a 1-degree difference in the angle of the torso. Note that it doesn’t mean that the 2nd-place runner was bad. It just means that the 1st-place runner committed fewer errors. Strive to be perfect in every way possible by attending to every potential area of improvement, big or small.

Don’t try to be flawless
A flawless leader does not exist. Everyone has strengths and also weaknesses. Striving to continuously improve in the personal, professional, mental, and spiritual levels is always worthy, but there will always be something new to learn. When you try to be too perfect, you will frequently find yourself being too careful also. This will impede necessary risk-taking, at the expense of many learning opportunities. Leadership, as you know, entails risking failure to find success. When you do fail, just pick yourself up, learn what needs to be learned, and go on your merry way. Being too careful will not let you do that.

Categories : Confidence, General Leadership, Goals, Loyalty, Personal Development, Relationships // 3 Comments »

Leadership doesn’t have a nice little set of rules. Everything that is promoted as a “rule” that has to be followed to become a leader can have many interpretations. In fact, the complete opposite of what the rules say can be as useful as what the original says. That is what this article is about: Contradictions that appear to be mutually exclusive, but really aren’t. These contradictions will make a better leader of you if you put them in practice:

Contradiction #1

Think about your legacy
What do you you want people to think about your leadership 10, 20, 30, or 100 years from now? Do you even want to be remembered? Or are you content with just contributing your grain of salt? Answers to these questions might help you in clarifying the principles you want to lead by. It isn’t the same being remembered for your cunning than being remembered for your sense of humor. Think about it, and make sure everything you do now, adds to that legacy you have envisioned.

Don’t think about your legacy
If you focus too much on what others will think about you in the future in some other place, then you won’t be able to focus on being here now. Thinking about your legacy for too long can distract you from what needs to be done to get there. Contemplate this projection for just long enough to capture the essence, and then immediately start working on getting there. Also, don’t get caught in the trap of concentrating in just your legacy, when you primarily need to be concentrating in how that legacy impacts your followers, your organization, or society in general.

Contradiction #2

Be a mentor
This “legacy” refers to a set of principles as much as it does to personal success. And there is no better way to perpetuate this set of principles than by promoting them. The way to do this is to become a mentor to others, and developing their talents. These pupils, if taught well, will be evangelists of your school of thought, leadership style, and ideas. If they differ from you, then you have indirectly contributed to creating other perspectives which might benefit everyone. For that reason, you need not be afraid of having your pupils pass you by in terms of position or expertise, since that would be a sign of your own prowess.

Don’t be a mentor
When most people hear the word “mentor”, they might think of a classic teacher-student dynamic where the teacher talks and the student takes notes. If that is what a mentor is, then I don’t want you to be one. The best way to lead is by example. Become what you want your pupils to become. Remember: Actions are easier to remember than words. And they’re easier to imitate too. Instead of telling what to do, show how to do it. Instead of mentoring, demonstrate.

Contradiction #3

Go with the flow
Many leaders or would-be leaders find it tempting to be a contrarian just for the sake of it. Don’t be one of them! There’s no problem with doing what others are doing if it will help. Having this ‘go with the flow’ attitude will also permit you to be more willing and able to change with the times, and adapt more easily to those changes. Taking advantage of those tides can be very beneficial to your organization or mission.

Don’t go with the flow
True leadership is based on a set of principles that guides your organization, be it a school, a church, a corporation, or your own family. This is what Stephen Covey refers to when talking about Principle-Centered Leadership. If these principles are solid and worthwile, then they will not change in the midst of different fashions. They will remain in place throughout every decision you will make. Consequently, this will mean that you won’t just “go with the flow” whenever the “flow” goes in another direction. Apart from the all-important principles, you also need to find something that characterizes you. People need to be able to differentiate you from everyone else in your field. Followers will remember leaders who are ahead of the pack. In fact, leaders are leaders precisely because they are different from the also-rans. Be unique in some way.

Contradiction #4

Make it BIG
Big things are easier to remember than small things. Actions that make a big splash in your organization and drive a point home will make a big impact. Of course, you want it to be a big positive splash, but big nonetheless. Big sometimes means bold. Perhaps you have to speak out against an injustice that nobody dared to speak out against. Or maybe you could fly an airplane carrying a message behind it. If a message is worth communicating, then do what needs to be done to communicate it. Everyone remembers big.

Make it small
Small details are very valuable for many people. Maybe you think that smiling to your janitor didn’t have any important effect on him or her. But those supposedly insignificant events are many times the most significant. One of the best ways to influence the lives of followers or peers is to create joy in their lives. That seemingly irrelevant smile might be the high point of the janitor’s day or even week. It doesn’t take too much effort to simply listen, respect, and encourage. Everyone remembers small.

Contradiction #5

Think long-term
Every leader needs a long-term vision. In fact, if you don’t have it, then most probably aren’t even a leader. It is the central purpose of leadership to provide a big-picture perspective for whatever or whoever is being led. Administering the more technical and immediate day-to-day tasks should belong to the realm of the administrator, who is not necessarily a leader. A true leader has the capacity to serve as the compass of the following.

Think short-term
Every leader needs short-term vision. In order to reach a long-term goal, you need to put into place a set of more immediate steps. These steps have to be taken now so that a goal becomes a reality. Some events need to happen before. In fact, the mark of a true leader is his or her ability to coordinate events in the future with events in the present. Those events need to be made compatible.

Categories : Communication, General Leadership, Goals, Mentorship, Recognition, Relationships // 6 Comments »

Good relationships keep doors open

Leadership, as you probably know, involves having good relationship skills. Positive relationships facilitate the task of the leader by creating a more receptive audience. Followers are more willing to follow you when they maintain good relationships with you and when they trust you. But there’s another reason, and mafiosi know it well: positive relationships keep doors open.

Most high-rank mafia leaders come from the lower ranks. Therefore, people who build good relationships with them while they are at the bottom have a high probability of being dragged up along with them. In the same way, those who create animosity from the beginning will suffer the consequences in the end.

Be it as it may, I’m not in favor of building relationships just for the sake of self-interested convenience. Relationships should be used as ends and not means. But it is impossible to deny these ’side-effects’. Granted, many mafia leaders turn on their ‘buddies’ and betray them. But they know the importance of building a ‘contact list’ early on, in terms of career advancement.

Let’s take the entrepreneurial world as an example. You might be going door-to-door trying to sell your new product.You chat with the janitor while waiting for the shop owner of a particular business. This owner doesn’t want to even hear your pitch. So you just go on your merry way. The next day you come back to the same store and now the owner is happy to display and sell your product! What happened? The janitor told the owner what a great guy you are. Think this is far-fetched? Think again. This kind of scenario happens everyday, and it shows how powerful relationship-building with everyone is, and not just in the Mafia.

Categories : Communication, General Leadership, Mafia, Relationships // Add Comment »

Be confident, not arrogant

Self-confidence is an important part of being a leader. It enables you to act with security and convey authority. It also comes in handy when making tough decisions, since having confidence in your skills and abilities will reassure you about what you are undergoing. Nevertheless, there’s a fine line between self-confidence and outright arrogance. Self-confidence: good. Arrogance: bad. John Gotti learned that lesson the hard way.

After rising to the top of the Gambino Family, he amassed considerable power in the underworld. For a while, Family members liked the fact that the boss exuded an air of “movie-star” quality. He was ‘cool’ and confident. But the ‘coolness’ and confidence went over the fine line. With TV news cameras in front of him day and night because of the different high-profile cases against him, Gotti paraded his handmade suits and always attempted to be the center of attention. The increased publicity, by many accounts, made him a bigger target, subsequently bringing him and the Gambino Family down. Even his own underboss, Sammy Gravano, and many of his capos, later expressed that the correct strategy was to maintain a low profile and not bring too much attention. Gotti didn’t agree, and he payed the price.

Maybe in the personal and corporate worlds arrogance won’t bring you as much visible trouble as the Gambino Family had. But crossing the line over from self-confidence to arrogance and cockiness may no doubt bring harmful consequences. For one, most people don’t enjoy being around someone whose main objective is to exalt him or herself. Relationships suffer as a result of those kinds of attitudes, and therefore leadership suffers, since it is based in many ways on quality relationships. In fact, the person who ratted on Gotti, leading him to a life sentence, was his best buddy and underboss Sammy Gravano. So there’s no need to exagerate your ‘confidence’. Just be reasonably sure of yourself and trust in your capacity. But there’s no need to be arrogant. It could lead you into trouble.

Categories : Communication, Confidence, General Leadership, Mafia, Recognition // Add Comment »

Force breeds force

The Golden Rule applies perfectly to most situations in life, and it certainly does in the Mafia: Treat others as you want to be treated. Albert Anastasia was at one time one of the most powerful mafia bosses. He killed his way to the top, becoming famous for his merciless and cold-blooded murders. “Mad Hatter”, as he was known, killed witnesses that would testify against him in court, and even innocent bystanders. In fact, he ordered the murder of a stranger who bragged about being a witness in a high-profile case. He didn’t even know the guy; he just didn’t “stand squealers”. His prolific violence and hunger for killing made him the head of Murder, Inc., the ‘enforcement’ arm of the National Crime Syndicate. Further on it landed him the job of boss of the Mangano crime family (of course, after killing Vince and Phil Mangano, the original bosses).

Now to my point: do you think nice little Albert retired to Orlando and died a peaceful death product of old age? Umm…He was shot and killed as a man of 54 years old, while at his New York City barbershop in 1957, in a peaceful way you might say. Albert’s story isn’t unique. Perhaps his was in the extreme end of the morbidity spectrum. But in no way is this uncommon in the Mafia. What may not be immediately obvious, though, is that this doesn’t apply only to the Mafia.

It is very probable that you have the experience of working for an aggresive and disrespectful boss. Were your feelings toward that person based on love and respect? Or did you harbor dislike or even hate? Surely you didn’t feel too drawn to that person and did the minimum amount of work necessary to please him, and not because you wanted to. In fact, perhaps you and your co-workers plotted to kick him out!

Families (the normal ones, not the organized crime ones) also slip into the dark habit of using force and might to get things done. As a parent you might yell and punish your child because of a minor accident. This is only natural, but when you start turning that into a habit, then your child, after complying externally, will rebel internally. He or she will harbor fear and apprehension toward you for the rest of his or her life.

The important lesson here is this: If you use force upon others, force will be used upon you. It’s as simple as that. So what are modern leaders supposed to do? Persuade others in a manner in which they are happy to be your followers. Instill your values upon them, in a way that they will cherish your leadership. This will not only favor your permanence as a leader, but will also produce positive energy in the workplace, your home, or wherever your circle of influence is.

Categories : Communication, General Leadership, Mafia // Add Comment »

Alliances

In 1929 a group of crime organizations attended a special meeting. In this meeting were the most powerful crime bosses in the US, among them Meyer Lansky, Al Capone, Albert Anastasia, Johnny Torrio, Frank Costello, and Lucky Luciano. What came out of this meeting, as revealed by Senate hearings in the 1950’s, was the birth of the National Crime Syndicate. Luciano and Lansky, who are recognized by many as the main founders, proposed this organization as a multi-ethnic alliance that was to deal with common problems. It obviously was much more than that. They had a thirst for power that would only be quenched by a Mafia Empire. Nevertheless, they identified some common issues that were better dealt with by forgetting temporarily about their differences, such as foreign ‘intrusion’ in their schemes. With this mindset, the Italian mobsters were able to take advantage of the Jewish Lansky’s contacts with Cuban dictator Fulgencio Batista, African-American gangsters were protected by Italians, and so on.

Today’s leaders should use this example to form their own alliances. Napoleon Hill, in his classic book Think and Grow Rich, calls this concept the Mastermind Group. The basic idea of this is to take advantage of the ideas and expertise of others. It is common to realize that ideas come more freely when they are being discussed in a group than when you’re alone. I certainly do not have a scientific explanation for this. But I am certain that when talking about alliances and mastermind groups, 1 head + 1 head = 10 heads.

This lesson, as can be seen, has two similar variances: the alliance and the mastermind. What the American Mafia did with the National Crime Syndicate was an alliance. They used each group’s resources to the advantage of everyone involved, to strive for one common goal. The mastermind is more of a ‘brainstorming’ alliance. In this variation, groups may discuss certain issues or ideas which later on will perhaps be used to strive for individual goals. Use both approaches. Perhaps your organization has great ideas but can’t make them reality because of scarce resources. In this case, you may ally yourself with another organization which has the resources, and both could share the profits. Or maybe you are an entrepreneur and are stuck with a specific business idea. You could form a mastermind group where everyone pitches in to refine your idea. The key is to use the brains of others and share yours. That will create exponential value.

Categories : General Leadership, Goals, Mafia // 1 Comment »

People like money, but they also like recognition

I won’t try to kid anyone here: of course mafiosi want money. In fact, the central purpose of the Mafia is to move and produce money. Families exist to create multi-million dollar fortunes. Really successful Mafia leaders become filthy rich, and they do whatever they think will work. Anything goes, from drug dealing to illegal gambling to other illegal schemes. In fact, some dons have been known to be extremely good businessmen in totally legitimate ventures.

While all that is true, it is also true that they also work for the cachet of being called ‘capo’ instead of being just a gopher, or don instead of capo. Not only will this bring them more money, but also a better reputation and standing. Those kinds of promotions do a lot for the egos of many people. Just being referred to with a different title, or being recognized in front of a group, does wonders for their self-esteems.

In the same way, leaders in other areas of life can apply this lesson. In fact, many of today’s most successful businesses have applied it and have seen its fruits. Money-based bonuses and awards have been shown to be ineffective in terms of self-realization. The productivity of employees who are recognized in other ways, on the other hand, has increased dramatically. Sometimes all that is necessary to spice up your leadership is to call someone ‘don’ instead of ‘wise guy’. It can do wonders.

Categories : General Leadership, Mafia, Recognition // 2 Comments »

Lead by example

As a rule, most of the mafiosi who become dons must have come up the ranks. They have started as ‘gophers’ who did all the dirty work. These are the ‘wise guys’, people who aren’t part of the Family but who do favors. Then some become ’soldiers’, who are already part of the Family but are in the lowest rung. Some are then promoted to ‘capos’, who run a specific part of the Family, mainly by region (between 1st and 2nd Streets) or activity (cocaine traffic). One of them may make it to ‘underboss’, or second-in-command, and finally there is the don, who is the #1.

The reason why I went over all the ranks is for you to realize that the leader of a Mafia Family, the don, generally has experience. The don has experience as a ‘gopher’, from when he was a ‘wise guy’ and a ’soldier’. The don has experience as an administrator, which was learned and applied as a ‘capo’ and ‘underboss’. Members of the Family have seen the don in the streets doing the same things they are now doing. They know that if the don had to, he could do it again. In fact, Al Capone was known to be willing to do whatever he ordered.

When followers or employees see how their leader is capable and willing to take action personally, they get inspired. They know that their leader wouldn’t ask them to do anything he or she wouldn’t do by him or herself. So inspire your followers by getting your hands dirty. Learn everything there is to know about your business or topic, and go out to the field and actually do it instead of just preaching about it.

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Implement systems

The Mafia Families run on smooth systems. Of course, these systems may be subject to occasional shake-ups. But as soon as they pass, the system gets back into place. Let’s see what this system is. Generally, with minor variations, all Families have a fundamental power structure. It consists, top to bottom, of the following: don, underboss, capo, and soldiers. The consiglieri is supposed to be an independent ‘neutral’ figure, although in practice that’s somewhat uncommon.

I want to make this clear: I do not agree with these types of stiff hierarchical structures. They lend themselves to antiquated ‘do as I say because I’m the boss’ type of leadership, as happens in the Mafia. Today’s leadership is more of a horizontal and ‘collaborative’ type, and I believe it is more effective. Nevertheless, the Mafia structure does have one thing going for it: it is a solid system. Granted, no system should be used as a shield to stay in the comfort zone. But a solid system does provide stability for any type of organization, from a church to a business. The Mafia has stability. As was mentioned in Top 10 Mafia Leadership Lessons - Mentorship, the 5 basic Mafia Families have remained the same in at least one century. Its ’system’ has a lot to do with that fact, I believe.

Part of the success of today’s leaders, particularly entrepreneurs and businessmen, can also be attributed to their capacity to design self-sustaining systems. The success of iconic enterprises such as McDonald’s and Burger King is practically fully dependent on how smooth those systems work. This fact has been covered in books such as The E-Myth Revisited by Michael E. Gerber. Basically, any reasonable person can be given a manual, study it, and run a unit. This is called the ‘franchise’ style. If something goes wrong, the franchise owner just checks the manual or consults with the central headquarters. Every hamburger is done exactly the same way in Tokyo as in Miami. There may be some extra flavor in one place or the other just to blend more with the different cultures, but generally everything is very predictable. The Sicilian Mafia, the Camorra Mafia, the Calabrian Mafia, the Sacra Coronas Unita, and La Cosa Nostra, as well as McDonald’s, Burger King, and Wendy’s have all understood the importance of setting and implementing systems.

Categories : General Leadership, Mafia, Systems // Add Comment »